Funny Mother Quotes 2017

Funny Mothers Day Quotes 2017, Funny Mother

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"If evolution really works, how come Mothers only have two hands?"
-Milton Berle

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"It is never easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it."
-Anon

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"Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children!"
-Sam Levenson

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A Daughter is just a little girl who grows up to be your best friend.

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A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take.
— Cardinal Mermillod

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"I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids."
-Anon

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"Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners."
-Anon
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A daughter is a miracle that never ceases to be miraculous.
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"Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life."
-Anon
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"The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents."
-John J. Plomp
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"Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age."
-William Feather
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"My mother told me a million times not to exaggerate."
-Anon
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"I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them."
-Phyllis Diller
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"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
-Calvin Trillin
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"My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it."
-Buddy Hackett
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"There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it."
-Chinese Proverb
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"Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young."
-Anon
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When I tell you I Love You I don’t say it out of habit or to make conversation. I say it to remind you that YOU are the Best Thing that ever happened to me.
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"Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs."
-P.J. O'Rourke
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"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, I am my mother after all!"
-Anon
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"When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. In a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead."
-Jeff Shaw
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"Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom, has instilled within each of us a powerful biological instinct to reproduce; this is her way of assuring that the human race, come what may, will never have any disposable income."
-Dave Barry
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"When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out."
-Erma Bombeck
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"If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says 'keep away from children'"
-Susan Savannah
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"I love to play hide and seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can't find me until after high school."
-Anon
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"Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first."
-Mignon McLaughlin
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"Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly."
-Ambrose Bierce
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I won’t always like who you are, but I will always love you. You will always be my child.
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Mother is a verb. It’s something you do. Not just who you are.
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"A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once,
and by car forever after."
-Peter De Vries
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"Children are a great comfort in your old age - and they help you reach it faster, too."
-Lionel
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"Parenthood is the passing of a baton, followed by a lifelong disagreement as to who dropped it."
-Robert Brault
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The more daughter knows the details of her mother’s life, the stronger the daughter.
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